During dinner, Mr. Bennet scarcely spoke at all; but when the servants were
withdrawn, he thought it time to have some conversation with his guest, and
therefore started a subject in which he expected him to shine, by observing
that he seemed very fortunate in his patroness. Lady Catherine de Bourgh's
attention to his wishes, and consideration for his comfort, appeared very re-
markable. Mr. Bennet could not have chosen better. Mr. Collins was elo-
quent in her praise. The subject elevated him to more than usual solemnity
of manner, and with a most important aspect he protested that "he had never
in his life witnessed such behaviour in a person of rank—such affability and
condescension, as he had himself experienced from Lady Catherine. She
had been graciously pleased to approve of both of the discourses which he
had already had the honour of preaching before her. She had also asked him
twice to dine at Rosings, and had sent for him only the Saturday before, to
make up her pool of quadrille in the evening. Lady Catherine was reckoned
proud by many people he knew, but he had never seen anything but affabili-
ty in her. She had always spoken to him as she would to any other gentle-
man; she made not the smallest objection to his joining in the society of the
neighbourhood nor to his leaving the parish occasionally for a week or two,
to visit his relations. She had even condescended to advise him to marry as
soon as he could, provided he chose with discretion; and had once paid him
a visit in his humble parsonage, where she had perfectly approved all the
alterations he had been making, and had even vouchsafed to suggest some
herself—some shelves in the closet upstairs."
"That is all very proper and civil, I am sure," said Mrs. Bennet, "and I
dare say she is a very agreeable woman. It is a pity that great ladies in gen-
eral are not more like her. Does she live near you, sir?"
"The garden in which stands my humble abode is separated only by a
lane from Rosings Park, her ladyship's residence."
"I think you said she was a widow, sir? Has she any family?"
"She has only one daughter, the heiress of Rosings, and of very extensive
property."
"Ah!" said Mrs. Bennet, shaking her head, "then she is better off than
many girls. And what sort of young lady is she? Is she handsome?"
"She is a most charming young lady indeed. Lady Catherine herself says
that, in point of true beauty, Miss de Bourgh is far superior to the hand-
somest of her sex, because there is that in her features which marks the
young lady of distinguished birth. She is unfortunately of a sickly constitu-
tion, which has prevented her from making that progress in many accom-
plishments which she could not have otherwise failed of, as I am informed
by the lady who superintended her education, and who still resides with
them. But she is perfectly amiable, and often condescends to drive by my
humble abode in her little phaeton and ponies."
"Has she been presented? I do not remember her name among the ladies
at court."
"Her indifferent state of health unhappily prevents her being in town; and
by that means, as I told Lady Catherine one day, has deprived the British
court of its brightest ornaments. Her ladyship seemed pleased with the idea;
and you may imagine that I am happy on every occasion to offer those little
delicate compliments which are always acceptable to ladies. I have more
than once observed to Lady Catherine, that her charming daughter seemed
born to be a duchess, and that the most elevated rank, instead of giving her
consequence, would be adorned by her. These are the kind of little things
which please her ladyship, and it is a sort of attention which I conceive my-
self peculiarly bound to pay."
"You judge very properly," said Mr. Bennet, "and it is happy for you that
you possess the talent of flattering with delicacy. May I ask whether these
pleasing attentions proceed from the impulse of the moment, or are the re-
sult of previous study?"
"They arise chiefly from what is passing at the time, and though I some-
times amuse myself with suggesting and arranging such little elegant com-
pliments as may be adapted to ordinary occasions, I always wish to give
them as unstudied an air as possible."
Mr. Bennet's expectations were fully answered. His cousin was as absurd
as he had hoped, and he listened to him with the keenest enjoyment, main-
taining at the same time the most resolute composure of countenance, and,
except in an occasional glance at Elizabeth, requiring no partner in his
pleasure.
By tea-time, however, the dose had been enough, and Mr. Bennet was
glad to take his guest into the drawing-room again, and, when tea was over,
glad to invite him to read aloud to the ladies. Mr. Collins readily assented,
and a book was produced; but, on beholding it (for everything announced it
to be from a circulating library), he started back, and begging pardon,
protested that he never read novels. Kitty stared at him, and Lydia ex-
claimed. Other books were produced, and after some deliberation he chose
Fordyce's Sermons. Lydia gaped as he opened the volume, and before he
had, with very monotonous solemnity, read three pages, she interrupted him
with:
"Do you know, mamma, that my uncle Phillips talks of turning away
Richard; and if he does, Colonel Forster will hire him. My aunt told me so
herself on Saturday. I shall walk to Meryton to-morrow to hear more about
it, and to ask when Mr. Denny comes back from town."
Lydia was bid by her two eldest sisters to hold her tongue; but Mr.
Collins, much offended, laid aside his book, and said:
"I have often observed how little young ladies are interested by books of
a serious stamp, though written solely for their benefit. It amazes me, I con-
fess; for, certainly, there can be nothing so advantageous to them as instruc-
tion. But I will no longer importune my young cousin."
Then turning to Mr. Bennet, he offered himself as his antagonist at
backgammon. Mr. Bennet accepted the challenge, observing that he acted
very wisely in leaving the girls to their own trifling amusements. Mrs. Ben-
net and her daughters apologised most civilly for Lydia's interruption, and
promised that it should not occur again, if he would resume his book; but
Mr. Collins, after assuring them that he bore his young cousin no ill-will,
and should never resent her behaviour as any affront, seated himself at an-
other table with Mr. Bennet, and prepared for backgammon.
