My smile grew the closer I got to him. “Sorry that took so long,” I sighed.
“Bad day, huh?” He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and I snuggled closer. We walked into the kitchen and he escorted me to a seat at the center island. “Everyone already ate, but I saved us a plate.”
I watched as he worked his way around, heating up our food and pouring drinks. It was just the two of us right now and my heart ached at the memories of our time living together at the beach. “So you’re training too?”
He smiled and pressed the numbers on the microwave. “I didn’t really have much of a choice. Although, it’s actually kind of fun. Julian really knows what he’s doing and your cousin is a good sparring partner.”
“I hope we can convince Lucian to stop this crazy war.” I sighed and laid my head down on my arms. “I don’t want to see any more die.”
“You’re going to talk to him?” Brendan pushed a plate against my arms forcing me to sit up. I saw the concerned look on his face.
“Yes. We finally reached an agreement that Kain and I would go along with the Council members.”
He stopped moving for a few seconds but didn’t say anything at first. “When?”
“I don’t know. They’re going to get back to us once they speak with Lucian.”
“Why does he want you to be there?”
I stabbed a piece of meat with my fork. “I have no idea,” I sighed. “It’s like he’s obsessed with getting me on his side. I’m still having a hard enough time dealing with my own clan. I don’t know what difference my presence on his side would make.”
Brendan sat down next to me and we ate in silence for a while. My nerves tingled like crazy at being so close to him. He smelled really good and our legs brushed against each other underneath the counter. It was like we were on our first date again.
“So how is it being around so many other selkies?” I asked.
“It’s been interesting. My dad taught me well, but it’s kind of neat to hear everyone’s individual stories about their lives.”
“Where are they all staying?”
“Julian rented a house on the beach a few miles away. I think most of them are there for the evening.” His wry smirk made me suspicious.
“What?”
“Well, I think two of them managed to stay behind with your sister and Daniel.”
I almost choked on my food. “What? Where are they?”
He laughed. “Relax. I think they went into town for dinner or something.” Rubbing his hand on my shoulder he chuckled some more. “Quinlan is a good guy. He won’t take advantage of your sister. And I think Aleksey is just as fascinated with Daniel as Daniel is with him.”
“Aleksey? That sounds Russian.”
“It is. Julian’s reach is global.” Interesting. I bet Daniel was in heaven.
“My sister’s only fourteen,” I grumbled.
“And if she’s anything like you, she’ll have that guy wrapped around her finger by the end of the night.”
I looked up at him and blushed. His sparkling smile and bright green eyes caused my heart to flutter. I simply loved him more than anyone could ever understand.
“I’m glad you’re here,” I whispered.
He leaned over and kissed me on the lips. “Me too.”
We finished our meals and decided to take a walk on the beach. I asked him about Seattle, but he wasn’t real comfortable telling me his story. Not quite sure what that was all about, I did my best not to pry. He wanted to know more about the attack at Jeremiah’s so I told him. Although the topic was appalling, I found it nice to have someone to talk to.
He was particularly interested in my training and Malcolm’s willingness to serve as my guinea pig. I could see how much this unnerved him, but if we were going to have a relationship, then he needed to accept that I had the ability to control his mind.
“You know I would never do that on purpose, right?” I asked after a prolonged silence.
He shoved his hands in his pockets and shrugged. “Yeah. But it doesn’t mean I won’t think about it.” I turned my head so he couldn’t see the tears. “Evs, don’t worry.” He stopped walking and pulled me against his chest. “It’s just something I have to deal with. And I’m working on it.”
I didn’t really have anything to say. My heart wanted him back with me no matter what. So I thought it best for him to come to terms with the new power structure of our relationship on his own. I just hoped he could do it soon. I shivered with the thought of him leaving me again.
His hands moved up and down along my arms. “Evs, you’re freezing. Let’s go back to the house.”
“No, not yet,” I said and wrapped my arm around his lower back. His body shook with a laugh as we continued our stroll down the quiet beach.
The breaking waves filled the evening with sounds of our other life. It was a life I’d shared with Brendan for eight years. We didn’t have to hide our true nature from each other. Discovering the intricate details of our world was one of the most memorable and fulfilling times in my life. We’d shared everything for so long, I simply didn’t want to lose that. Right now it felt like we were the only two in the world, and that was a sentiment I deeply missed.
“Do you remember that time I tried to teach you how to fish?” he asked after a long stretch of silence.
I smiled. “Yes, but you didn’t tell me I had to catch the fish with my mouth. It wasn’t fair that you were in your seal form at the time.”
“I was just teasing, but you had to prove you could do it.” He squeezed me tighter.
“I couldn’t let you win,” I said and bumped him with my shoulder. “Besides, I finally caught that flounder.”
He laughed again. “You sure did. Guts and all.” We stopped moving when he turned to face me. “I don’t have memories like that with anyone else.”
I looked up into his eyes. “That’s because no one would have accepted your challenge. It was really disgusting.”
“I’m serious.” He stared at something off in the distance and gathered his thoughts. “I don’t have anyone else, Evs. You are my family.” I saw tears in his eyes and my heart ached. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you at the funeral and I’m sorry I took off with Julian.”
“It’s okay,” I whispered.
“No, it’s not.” He pulled me into a hug and rested his chin on my head in a familiar gesture. “You’re so strong. Since the first day I met you, I admired your drive. Even in Maryland, you never quit fighting for me. I was the one who ran away like a coward.”
I wrapped my arms tighter around his waist. “Stop it, Brendan. A lot happened to us and we all needed some time to process.”
“You didn’t. Not once did you lose control. Your parents were killed and yet you got everyone out of there without a second thought. It was natural for you. You’re destined to be a great leader.”
I had to smile. “Do you know I always admired how together you were?”
He pulled away and looked down at me with a crooked grin. “Me?”
“Yes. I knew I could always count on you to have a plan. I was the one that felt like the follower.”
He squeezed me tight again. “You don’t need to follow anyone, Evs. You’ll always be fine on your own.”
Not knowing exactly what that meant, my thoughts traveled in a thousand different directions. I needed to hear an apology from Brendan for leaving me like he did. Sure, I understood what he was going through, but he’d left me when I needed him most. Yet something in his tone sent warning chills down my spine.
“It’s cold. Let’s go back now,” he said. I didn’t argue and instead enjoyed being next to the guy I’d waited so long to spend my life with.
With arms wrapped tightly around each other, we walked in silence all the way to the deck. Just as I climbed the first stair, he stopped and forced me to turn around to face him. His hands held both of mine and I drowned in his warmth.
“Evs, I…I don’t know how you feel right now, but I think…I…” He fumbled like a school boy.
“What Brendan?”
He sighed and smiled. “I want to stay with you tonight. But if you’re not ready for that again, then I understand and I’ll go to Julian’s.”
Not ready? It’s what I’d been waiting for ever since the day he left me. I could barely breathe. My pulse pounded and I was sure my cheeks flushed. He wanted to spend the night with me and it was all I could do not to jump into his arms right away.
“Please stay here,” I whispered. His handsome face glowed with excitement so I grabbed his hand and pulled him up the stairs and into the house.
My sister, Daniel, and their two selkie boys were back and sitting in the living room watching a movie. Trying not to be seen, we tiptoed past the entrance and to the stairs. Even though my parents were gone, Marisol and I never moved out of our rooms. It would have been too weird to stay in their bedroom, so that was where Uncle Andre slept instead. Apparently he didn’t have a problem with it.
We crept into my room like we were sneaking around even though that wasn’t necessary anymore. Locking the door behind me, I took a deep breath and tried to calm my nerves. I loved Brendan with all of my heart, but something about all of this made me hesitate. It felt like this was my one and only chance to prove to him we were meant to be together and we could actually make this work. It was simply too much pressure.
Even with people constantly telling me he was going to leave again, I still wanted to believe we could overcome the odds.
“What are you thinking about?” he asked from his spot next to the bed. I looked up at him in surprise and he chuckled. “I can see your pinched brow from here.”
I decided not to ruin this moment. “Nothing really. Just that you’ve never been in my bedroom before.”
He looked around and then pushed on the mattress a few times. “It’s nicer than our efficiency in Maryland.”
“Yeah, but I loved that place.”
“So did I.” He held out his arm and I walked close enough to lay my hand in his. “I really think this is where I need to be.”
“What?”
“Seattle never felt right. Being here with you is better.”
Better? That stung a little but I was determined to make the most of tonight and prove to Brendan that this was our home now. So I raised my head and gave him a kiss. He responded quickly and all feelings of doubt disappeared. I remembered every part of him and the way he moved. Being with him was just plain right.
He pulled away and licked his lips. “You taste salty.”
With a sudden pang of embarrassment, I realized I hadn’t showered since I left Jeremiah’s nearly a full day ago. I stepped away and walked toward my bathroom. “I’m going to get cleaned up.”
Brendan laughed and shook his head. “That’s not what I meant.”
“I know, but it’s been a really long day and I could use a shower.” I made my way into the bathroom but before I closed the door, I stuck my head back into the bedroom. “Don’t go anywhere, okay?”
He sprawled out across the foot of my bed. “I won’t. Promise.”
I smiled at that and shut the door. Why was I so nervous? It’s not like we hadn’t done this before. I mean we lived together for almost a month. It just seemed like things were different now. More fragile. Like one wrong move on my part would send him running again.
Sighing, I turned on the shower and stripped out of my clothes. Why was I feeling this way? The man I loved more than anyone else in the world was just beyond that door, willing to try at our relationship again. This nagging feeling of dread inside of me had to go away. I stepped underneath the hot water and closed my eyes, forcing myself to breathe deeply and ignore those negative feelings.
I was just about to grab the shampoo when I heard the door click open. My breath caught in my throat and I froze. The shower curtain rustled as it was pushed to the side and Brendan stepped into the tub with me. My back faced him but I knew what I’d see if I turned around.
And I could barely stop myself.
Brendan grabbed the shampoo from my hands. “Here, let me do it.”
The moment he began to massage the shampoo into my scalp was the moment the last of my fear slipped away. Showers together had become an almost daily event in Maryland. It was as though we could never quite get enough of each other. I closed my eyes in part due to the bliss of feeling him so close to me and also to stop the impending tears from spilling over.
When he finished with my hair, he began to massage my neck and shoulders. It was so relaxing that I needed to brace myself against the side of the shower. He laughed and leaned forward close enough to whisper in my ear and brush up against me. “Perhaps we should finish up in here and go to bed.”
I turned around so I could see his perfect face and beautiful body. Any childish feelings I may have had for Graham had just been that…childish. This was real. Brendan was real and he was here.
We stayed in the shower long enough to use up all of the hot water before moving into the bedroom. Everything was perfect. It was as though we hadn’t lost all of that time or that our lives had drastically changed since that day in the cave. Brendan had owned my heart for so many years and now I couldn’t give him enough of me. I closed my eyes and wished we could freeze these moments in time. Like the moment when we were wrapped around each other so tightly nothing could ever break us apart again. Or the one right now, where we were laying in each other’s arms, content and at peace.
I rubbed my hand over his chest. “I’m glad you’re back.” I felt him tense slightly, but then he chuckled. Reaching up with his hand he grabbed mine and pulled it to his mouth for a kiss.
“Me too,” he whispered.
“What’s going to happen now?” As much as I really didn’t want to have this conversation, I needed to know.
He took a deep breath and tilted his head down to look into my eyes. “We’ll just take it one day at a time for now, okay?” Nodding, I smiled up at him, unable to speak. “Close your eyes and get some sleep.” I nestled closer against his chest, fearful that if I wasn’t touching him, he would disappear.
Something in the middle of the night briefly woke me up. Brendan fidgeted beside me and through my sleepy haze, I saw him staring up at the ceiling. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Just go back to sleep.” The gravity of the past few days had weighed me down and before I could ask any more questions, I fell back into a deep sleep.
****
Rays of sun skittered through my window and I groaned at the sight. I was so tired but the smell of fresh coffee wafting up from the kitchen did me in. Opening my eyes, I suddenly remembered that last night hadn’t been a dream and Brendan really had been here with me.
I sat up in the bed and turned to look for him. My heart plummeted when I saw he wasn’t lying next to me. The bathroom door was open but he wasn’t in there. Relax Eviana. He’s probably just downstairs.
I hurriedly threw on a sundress and wrapped my hair up into a knot. Finishing with my teeth, I’d managed to get out of bed in record time. I bounded down the stairs and tried to force myself to walk calmly into the kitchen. It was packed full of people…well, merfolk and selkies anyway. Looking around, I saw Jason and Palmer busy cooking breakfast while one of the visiting selkies poured coffee and juice for everyone. It was like one giant unorthodox family gathering.
“Hey Eviana!” Daniel shouted from his seat at the counter. Sitting next to him was a tall but lanky blond boy with sharp cheekbones and a chiseled jaw. That must be Aleksey. I walked over to them.
“Hi Daniel. Did you sleep well?”
Both of the boys blushed and I almost died. I didn’t really want to know, it was just a polite question. “Yes. Thank you.”
My sister suddenly caught my attention. She sat at the table next to the young man I assumed was Quinlan. His bright red hair was a sharp contrast to her dark brown mane, but his cute face and numerous freckles made him irresistible. I could see why she was attracted to him. They both hunched over, talking and giggling and I watched them flirt openly with each other. Even though I thought that she was too young, I had to smile. This was the first time in a long time I saw her truly enjoying herself.
Daniel cleared his throat. “So how was your night?” He totally knew.
“Fine.”
“Mmm hmm,” he mumbled in his trademark way. I slapped his arm. “You’re beaming, Eviana.”
I guess that I was, although right now, I just wanted to see Brendan. “Have you seen him?” I asked. Daniel shook his head.
“No, but we just got here a few minutes before you.” He looked around the room and jerked his chin. “Maybe Julian knows.”
I followed his gaze to see the leader of the selkies standing with his arms crossed and leaning up against the doors that led to the deck. His black hair and tall, tanned body was still in impeccable shape even though he must have been in his mid-forties. He stared at me with sad green eyes and something about his look sent my stomach into a downward spiral. When he motioned for me to join him, I almost collapsed.
“What’s wrong?” Daniel asked.
I shrugged my shoulders and silently followed Julian out the sliding glass doors and to the farthest corner of the deck. My body trembled in anticipation like it knew something bad was coming. While everyone had been enjoying their morning, Julian looked miserable. My heart climbed into my throat as I forced myself to ask the question.
“Do you know where Brendan is?” Silence. I almost thought he wasn’t going to answer me, but finally he nodded.
“Yes, I do.” More silence followed and I fought the urge to shake him.
“Well, will you tell me where? I need to talk to him.” The sinking feeling in my gut continued to grow but I tried to maintain my composure.
Julian sighed. “He’s gone back to our house,” he turned and looked down at me, “to pack his bags.”
I immediately let out the breath I’d been holding. “Good. So he decided to move in here.” I smiled and leaned over the railing to glance down the beach, hoping to see him walk this way. He was coming back for good.
Julian laid his hand on top of mine. “Eviana…” Suddenly a train slammed into my chest. I heard it in his tone before he spoke the words. “Brendan’s not moving in with you.”
Yanking my arm away, I stepped back and nearly tripped over myself. “What do you mean?”
Julian brushed a hand through his dark, curly hair and looked up at the sky. “He found me early this morning and we had a long talk.” When he didn’t continue I raised my eyebrows telling him to go on. “He’s been feeling the call for several weeks, but I think he was afraid to admit it to himself.”
I almost fell to the ground. The call? No, it couldn’t be. “What are you talking about, Julian?” I snapped.
“It started in Seattle. Not long after we arrived.” He paced along the deck. “At first I thought he just missed you. But then I saw it in his mind.”
“What?” I gasped.
He rolled his head, seemingly trying to release some of the tension. “I’m sort of…telepathically connected to all of these selkies.” He waited for me to comment and when I didn’t, he continued. “That’s why I have the persuasion I do. They kind of see me like an alpha.”
“Brendan told me about that.”
“Good. Then you understand.” He stopped walking and stood right in front of me. “I’ve felt the pull through other selkie’s minds. I’ve been there myself so I knew that’s what Brendan was experiencing.”
The only way for me not to cry was to get angry. “So why did he come here then? Why did he spend last night with me?”
Julian winced. “He shouldn’t have done either of those things and I told his as much. But he wanted you to be enough.” I snorted and glared at him. “What I mean is that he wanted his life with you to be enough to overpower the call. He loves you very much, Eviana.”
I stepped away from him again. “Well, obviously he doesn’t or he wouldn’t keep hurting me over and over!” My chest tightened and my throat clamped shut. I tried so hard not to cry.
Julian’s green eyes glistened with tears, too. “I am sorry this is happening to the two of you but…”
“You told me it would,” I snapped. He nodded and I repressed every urge in my body to punch him. This wasn’t Julian’s fault. He just had the misfortune of being the messenger. I started to move toward the deck stairs. “I’m going to go see him.”
Julian grabbed my arm and pulled me back. “You can’t,”
“Get your hands off me,” I screamed through gritted teeth. He obliged, but the fight slowly seeped from my body as despair began to take over.
“You can’t see him because he’s already gone.”
“What? You said he was packing?”
“He was. But I’m sure he’s gone by now.” Julian looked at me with so much pity in his eyes, it infuriated me. I didn’t need someone feeling sorry for me. I needed to talk to Brendan. I turned to walk to their house again. “Eviana! He left this for you.”
I whipped my body around to see Julian holding a folded piece of paper in his outstretched arm. “What is it?”
“His goodbye.”
And that was it. I crumpled to the deck and began to sob. Julian rushed to my side but instead of grabbing me, he laid the note down in my lap and gently kissed the top of my head.
“I am sorry.”
